Starting Over

In less than a month, I was supposed to walk down the aisle. In a crazy turn of events, I re-evauluated and realized that I couldn't do it. The head-over-heels can't-live-without-you feeling just wasn't there. I decided I couldn't put off the inevitable, even if it meant crushing the other person, a person who loved me beyond words. I just didn't feel the same way, and I couldn't start a marriage with these feelings, or lack of.

So last night I called it all off. He was devastated, of course, and really had no idea that I was having such serious doubts. I explained how I was feeling, he tried to change my mind, and in the end he got the ring back and I get to cancel vendors. I typed up a little notecard for our guests and put them in the mail this morning. Gifts will be packed up and sent back tomorrow.

Suprisingly, I am not as upset as I thought I would be. Don't get me wrong. I can't talk about it without crying, but I know I made the right choice for me. I am actually more concerned about the small town gossip that is going to travel like wildfire.